Michael Scott is a veritable cornucopia of inane babble. Every time he opens his mouth pure gold flows forth. Whether he’s giving an employee horrible advice or confusing commonly used idioms he makes The Office all the richer for his insanity.
It’s difficult to say which is the best quote in a line up of Michael’s quips. Sometimes he fills us with hope and wonder, sometimes he leaves us baffled but he always leaves us smiling. Here are 10 of the most quintessential Michael Scott quotes to fill your day with puzzled smiles.
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
Does Michael Scott rule with an iron fist or a soft hand? The answer lies somewhere in the middle as evidenced by this quote.
Clearly Mr. Scott also has some experience with toxic relationships. Love should never hurt and it shouldn’t make you afraid. Someone check on Mike. It’s very clear that Michael Scott is a man who craves love. He just doesn’t seem to understand it very well.
“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”
In management, it’s sometimes helpful to reiterate the obvious. This quote is just Michael practicing that skill.
It’s obvious to anyone who’s ever been in the same room with Michael Scott that he’s often just as mystified by his own statements as the rest of us. If he truly thought about most of his ideas he would bury them and never, ever speak of them again. He could only unleash these thoughts if he let it happen in real-time.
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little ‘stitious.”
No matter how skeptical you are, everyone has one or two little superstitions that seep into your psyche. Michael Scott is no different. After all, observing a few old wives tales never hurt anyone.
However, the best part of this quote is how desperately lacking in self-awareness it is. Michael Scott is incredibly superstitious and often follows superstitions no one else has ever heard of. Michael may in fact be Ultrastitious.
“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.”
All Michael wants is a friend. Maybe even some banter. This quote really shows that desire to fit in.
Little does he know how many of Jim and Pam’s jokes he’s involved in. The butt may be the most important of a joke. Maybe someday he can be laughed with and not at. If this quote doesn’t tug at your heartstrings you may want to check your pulse.
“And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”
Quick thinking and wisdom are essential tools for great management. Knowing what to do and when to do it can make or break a workplace and Michael Scott knows exactly where he stands as a manager.
This quote sums him up perfectly. We’ve all been there Mike. Admitting it is half the battle. Anyone who has worked under Michael Scott knows that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing the vast majority of the time.
“I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.”
Nobody likes a suck-up, except for Michael Scott. Andy won him over quickly with his impressive boot-licking skills.
As long as the sycophant genuinely likes Michael for who he is, he’s perfectly fine with it. At Dunder Mifflin intentions truly matter.
“No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.”
Keeping vital information away from people you care about isn’t a great way to earn their trust, although Michael Scott seems to think it is.
Let’s all take a moment to be grateful that he went into the paper industry and not medicine. Not giving anyone fair warning to brush up their resume is far less destructive than delaying medical treatment. Hopefully, Michael addresses his fear of confrontation. It’s one of the many managerial skills he could still pick up after a decade on the job.
“I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.”
Michael Scott has made it no small secret that he hopes to one day raise a family. His goals for that family are a little bit alarming if this quote is anything to go by.
That’s not the dream. That couldn’t be further from the dream. What goes on inside the head of Michael Scott? Nothing wholesome. Hopefully he reads up on appropriate family relationships before he becomes a father.
“Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”
Despite the fact that Michael lists his priorities in a very particular and specific order he still likes to keep things loose.
He’s flexible. He’s open to changing things up if they don’t work anymore. Mike knows what he has to do and what matters most to him. He may not understand what the phrase “no particular order” means but he understands who he is.
“I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”
Being the boss can be a little overwhelming. Michael thinks of his employees as his children. He takes on even more emotional responsibility for them than is remotely necessary. It’s easy to imagine he might need a break.
We all need a break sometimes Michael. It’s okay. You can choose to face your problems head-on or you can flee to freedom as fast as a parked train can take you, at least for today.
