Very few shows have impacted audiences as much as All In The Family did. The series, which spawned numerous spinoffs, featured lots of extremely serious topics, which is why it is still talked about so much today.
But part of what made the show so great and memorable was the humor. Each of the characters were funny and charming in their own ways. There were many times during which this show took something that wasn’t very funny and added a little bit of humor to it. Here are some of the best lines that can be heard in the show All In The Family.
“Next Time You Want To Time Something, Edith, Just Let The Sand Run Out Of Your Head.”
Archie Bunker says this to his wife, Edith, in the episode that is called “Cousin Maude’s Visit.” Anyone who has spent much time watching this show knows that one of the main themes of it is Archie’s jokes about Edith’s intelligence.
Edith definitely has a heart of gold, and there are many episodes during which she is the voice of reason, but sometimes she isn’t the sharpest tool in the box, which is why Archie says things like this to her. This episode is actually full of hilarious quotes from all of the main characters, since many of them are sick and in need of Edith’s care and attention.
“Well You Don’t Work, Maybe We’d Better Throw You Out.”
This quote is one of many jokes about the fact that throughout much of the series, Michael Stivic does not have a job. In one of the episodes of All In The Family, he and Archie are talking about politics, which is something they discuss a lot on the show, and Michael says something about how people no longer try to fix things if they are broken.
He claims that most people would rather throw that thing out and replace it than spend time trying to fix it. This prompts Archie to ask suggest that they should throw Michael himself out since he doesn’t work.
“Anybody That Goes To See A Psychiatrist Ought To Have His Head Examined.”
This is one of the many humorous things Archie says in an episode called “Edith Flips Her Wig,” which is the sixth episode of the third season of All In The Family. This episode focuses on the fact that Edith gets blacklisted from a store she regularly visits because she accidentally ran out of store before paying for something she was looking at, which was a wig.
Gloria and Michael believe that she should visit a psychiatrist, but Archie doesn’t think she needs to. He believes that it’s a bad idea, which is why he says this quote. In the end, the whole thing turned out to be a big misunderstanding, and Edith is once again allowed to shop at that store.
“I Think I Would Have Rather Have Drowned.”
This quote is one of Edith’s lines in the episode titled “The Bunkers And The Swingers.” During this episode, Edith decides that she would like more friends to hang out with, so she answers a personal advertisement she sees in a magazine.
But what she does not realize is that the people who paid for the advertisement are looking for much more than a couple of friends. Edith invites them to visit, and she and Archie are rather horrified when they find out what the couple’s intentions are. The other couple tell Archie and Edith that their lifestyle saved them, and they felt as though they were drowning, and that is when Edith says that she would have preferred to drown.
“Well, I Liked Being Called A ‘Goddess Of Beauty,’ But Somehow It Seemed More Permanent When Your Father Called Me A Dingbat.”
During an episode called “Archie Is Jealous,” Gloria asks her mother why she chose to marry Archie over someone else that she once dated, and this quote is her reply. The whole episode is about Archie being jealous over a man that Edith was romantically involved with before the two of them were married.
At the beginning of it, Archie comes across a love letter Michael wrote for Gloria, which prompts Edith to tell him that she once spent an entire weekend alone with another man while he was away. Though, since Edith is not a character that typically does anything questionable, it is later revealed that the whole thing was very innocent, despite what Archie thinks.
“That’s Right. You Contribute Deposits, He Contributes Withdrawals.”
This quote comes from Archie in an episode titled “Mike’s Appendix.” It’s another humorous joke about the fact that Michael hardly ever seems to have a job during the earlier seasons of this series.
During this episode, Michael has to have emergency surgery to remove his appendix, but the issue is that the Stivics don’t have enough money to pay for it (which is because of Michael’s lack of a job). This also an episode that tackles an important social topic, since Michael does not want a female doctor to operate on him. The ending is pretty surprising since his surgeon turns out to be a woman.
“Edith, Somebody’s Gotta Be Dead; That’s Life.”
Archie says this to Edith in the episode titled “Archie And The Computer.” The whole episode is about how technology is taking over jobs that used to be held by human beings, and Archie is mistakenly declared dead due to a technological glitch.
Another accident similar to that one causes a company to start sending Edith lots of quarters, which Archie thinks she should keep, even though it is a mistake. During this episode, Archie explains to Edith that death is a part of life, but of course he phrases it in a rather humorous way that does not make much sense.
“Oh, Ain’t That Smart. Who Better To Impersonate A Female Than A Woman?”
One of the supporting characters in the series tries to explain their lifestyle to Edith, and she responds to them by saying this quote. That character’s name is Beverly LaSalle, and this character was actually very important on All In The Family.
Beverly was a female impersonator, and the creators of the show did a really great job of giving their audience an accurate idea of what life is like for others who are similar to Beverly. Beverly’s presence on the show forced Archie and Edith to open up their minds a bit, and they eventually become very close friends with this character. But at first, Edith had a hard time understanding what a female impersonator is, which was a rather humorous moment on the show.
“I Don’t Know, The Nose Is A Pretty Strong Thing. One Time I Was Changing One Of Joey’s Diapers And I Nearly Passed Out.”
This hilarious quote will always be a classic one from the show, since it is something lots of people can relate to if they have ever changed a baby’s diaper. During the episode called “Too Good Edith,” Archie says this to his niece, Stephanie, when she claims that smelling cabbage cannot cause any serious harm to a person.
But other than that, this episode is actually more touching than it is funny. Perhaps that is part of what makes the quote so funny, since it really lightens the mood up a bit. The writers of this series were great at adding humor to serious topics.
“Why Don’t You Go To Sleep And Dream About The Tragedy That Is Your Life?”
In the episode called “The Return Of Stephanie’s Father,” Archie says this quote to a to a vagrant they pass by when they are going to meet their niece’s dad, and the fact that it is such an unexpected line makes it so funny. This episode is another one that touches on some very sensitive topics in a way that only some of the best television shows can.
After leaving Stephanie with the Bunkers, her father returns. He asks them for money, and he threatens to take her back if they do not give it to him. They eventually reach a deal, since they love her as if she were their own daughter.
