John Carpenter’s Halloween was a film that helped shape the slasher genre as we know it. The movie didn’t need a supernatural entity, a curse, or even a monster from another planet to make it scary. It got its scares with a relatively normal man, a knife, and a white mask. Though Michael Myers is still a favorite horror villain to thousands of fans, ourselves included, he’s not exactly top of the game anymore. Case in point, he’s a senior citizen by the time of the most recent Halloween sequel.
Thanks to Michael setting the bar, newer slashers have gone above and beyond the call of duty. But at the end of the day, Michael’s just a madman with a knife and nothing more. Here are 10 slashers who could definitely take out Michael Myers.
Harry Warden (My Bloody Valentine)
Though the mad miner is really just another madman with a mask and sharp object, he’d certainly give Michael some competition. Depending on the situation and location, Harry Warden would definitely have an upper-hand over the Boogeyman.
His mining gear has more protection than Michael’s jumpsuit and his pickaxe has greater reach. Pair that with the fact that Harry knows how to both hide and escape from his pursuers, he would make things a bit difficult for his opponent to do much permanent damage. Tough call, but we might have to give this one to the miner.
Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)
Though he’s not the actual slasher in Silence of the Lambs, we can’t help but wonder how Dr. Lecter would fare if he were in Dr. Loomis’s position. If the guy can convince a prisoner to swallow his own tongue, we’d love to see him have a sit down with Michael.
With the right amount of time, Hannibal the Cannibal could break through to the man behind the mask and bring Michael to a screeching halt. After that, it’s the doctor’s choice to how he deals with his opponent. We wonder what kind of wine Michael Myers pairs with.
Lamb, Wolf, and Tiger (You’re Next)
You’re Next took standard slasher tropes and turned them into a survive-the-night thriller that needs more attention. Instead of one bad guy in a mask, we get three trained killers with traps and weapons. Numbers have never been an issue for Michael Myers, but what if his prey are more of a hunter than he is?
Even if it’s just one of the trio, they would certainly find a way to outsmart him. His mask could easily blind him to a trap, or he could fall prey to a crossbow bolt in the darkness. It’s about working smarter, not harder.
Sam (Trick r’ Treat)
How awesome would it be to see these two Halloween icons face off against each other? Though we’d rather see these two working together, for the sake of argument we’ll put them as foes.
Don’t let his size fool you. Sam can do some damage and take a few hits, as well as bullets. The avatar of Samhain, Sam is a supernatural entity gifted with some freaky powers to punish Halloween haters. At the very least, Michael would be limping away with a few scratches if not totally wrecked by the little guy.
Victor Crowley (Hatchet)
A tribute to the classic low-budget slasher horror of the ’80s, Hatchet gives us the vengeful spirit of Victor Crowley that can surely hack up the competition, with or without his titular weapon. The monstrous Victor would probably take Michael down a peg with his physical force alone.
Don’t get us wrong, Michael’s pretty strong himself but Victor is built like a murderous dump-truck. He would tear through The Shape in a matter of seconds. Even if Michael got a few slashes in with his classic butcher knife, it’d barely give Victor a scratch.
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th Series)
Though the hockey-masked slasher takes more than a few notes from Michael Myers, he perfects the role by coming back from the dead again and again. Jason is relentless in his pursuits, taking all kinds of damage and still coming back for more.
Simply put, Jason Voorhees wins because he can’t be killed. Not even a rain of bullets or impalement can stop him. Michael might be one tough cookie, but (depending on canon) he’s still mortal. Both are matched in physical strength, but when it comes to durability, Jason takes the win.
Xenomorph (Alien)
Alien was a slasher movie in space. We’re not saying we expect Michael to take to the stars, but we’d be lying if we said we wouldn’t want to see this face off. It’d be a short fight, but still worth seeing.
The Xenomorph is the perfect predator who would make a feast out of him before his theme music could even strike the first chord. A man in a mask put up against a monster that’s all claws, teeth, and acid-blood… who do you think will come out on top in that situation?
Freddy Kruger (A Nightmare on Elm Street)
What scares the boogeyman? Well if there’s one dream demon who knows, it’s Freddy Kruger. Once again, Michael is bested by a supernatural entity who also has a better set of blades. Not only would Freddy bash the masked murderer, but he’d also crack jokes.
Freddy wouldn’t just slice, dice, and serve on rice; he’d manipulate Michael and force his fears from the recesses of his troubled mind to play with his prey. Though it might take a while to get the guy down, he’d have to sleep eventually. Once he’s in Freddy’s world, it’s game over from there.
Pinhead (Hellraiser)
With or without his Cenobite disciples, Pinhead would absolutely tear Michael’s Soul apart and relish every second of it. We’re not sure if Michael would be smart/stupid enough to open the Lament Configuration, but it wouldn’t take long for Pinhead to get his hooks in. It’d be worth to see how Michael would fare in Pinhead’s realm.
Granted, Pinhead would probably make mincemeat out of Michael in seconds, but it would still be creative and gory. We’re not sure where Pinhead stands on physical strength, but he definitely has Michael beat when it comes to pain tolerance.
Pennywise (It)
Though we love Tim Curry’s version, we’re giving it to the new and improved nightmare clown brought to us by Bill Skarsgârd. Michael Myers pales in comparison when put against this cosmic horror. Though we’re still not sure what scares him, it’d be interesting to see how well he fares in the Deadlights.
Pennywise is horrifically overpowered when paired against Michael. If his clown, zombie, or other strange forms don’t get under his skin, his horrifying true form will send Michael into catatonic shock. There’s only room for one real boogeyman and Pennywise won’t go down without a fight.