If you’re the kind of person who enjoys “so bad they’re good” movies, this list is for you. Given some of the reviews under these movies, nobody should be upset by this list.
No one’s favorite is going to get put down! Whether it’s terrible acting, terrible writing, terrible scripts, or just plain terrible movies, this list has it all. We’re also not lacking in horrible action sequences, cheesy special effects, or absolutely awful creature design. If you’re the kind of person who enjoys torturing themselves with beyond atrocious cinema, read on.
Iron Soldier
Iron Soldier is a film about a giant fighting robot, made by the Canadian government. When he falls into the hands of a rogue militia group, the son of the guy who made the robot has to get it back before it’s sold to a foreign military.
Apparently the German title implies it’s set in the US, which is extremely confusing. Why call it Captain USA- The Iron Soldier if it’s set in Canada? German viewers must be incredibly confused when they see multiple Canadian uniforms in Captain USA.
Aliens Vs. Avatars
A mix of horror and sci-fi, Aliens and Avatars we see, has basically ripped off the plot of John Carpenter’s The Thing. Only this time, it’s college students instead of scientists. Coming in at a whopping 1.2, this one doesn’t sound promising. To further explain the plot, this monster can turn into anything it’s harvested the DNA of. This leads to tons of confusion and trust issues for the whole cast. It’d be a great plot, if The Thing, The X-Files, and a novel hadn’t already done it.
The monster looks like a guy in a jump-suit in a cheap latex mask, the title sounds like a spoof of slightly better sci-fi movies, and the acting is nothing less than wooden. However, looking at these late-90s level effects could garner a giggle or two.
Foodfight!
Ah yes. Finally, a flop of gargantuan proportion. If nothing else in this list will entertain you, this tour-de-force of C-list actors will. Featuring the Duff sisters, Hillary and Hayley, Charlie Sheen, Wayne Brady, Charlie Sheen, and somehow Christopher Lloyd, you can expect some familiar voices.
Its a really strange mash of Sausage Party and Toy Story, but still family-friendly. All of the products inside a grocery store come to life at night. With a budget in the neighborhood of 45-65 million, we should be looking at something much, much better. Apparently, it was supposed to have come out in 2002, was stolen, and then released in 2012. To be entirely honest, it should have stayed stolen. The film looks like a CGI student film made in 1997.
Hornet
Hornet is a film released in 2018, about an alien race, bent on destroying humanity by driving them to acts of mayhem. The other humans who are for whatever reason immune have to rely on a robot who’s never seen combat before.
This movie has a 1.8, and was released shortly before Bumblebee because people want to go see a knock-off rather than the big-budget blockbuster, or so the producers feel. The acting is particularly horrible. Some have said that the test of a good actor is to have them act scared. The crew in this film failed that test.
The Star Wars Holiday Special
There are plenty of people who most likely enjoy this movie on an ironic level, but one would assume no one enjoys it seriously. Chewie and Han Solo are doing their best to make it home for the holidays, but they’re stopped by the empire.
To make the most of it, Chewbacca’s family partake in a wide variety of celebrations. What holiday are they celebrating? Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, winter solstice? Nope. Life day.
The Adventures Of Chris Fable
Basically an updated retelling of Paul Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress, The Adventures Of Chris Fable follows a young runaway who lives in a trash heap. What a perfect allegory. The writers were truly thinking ahead and describing their film. A pastor comes to him and tells him his dad isn’t dead and wants to see him, so he begins his journey to be reunited.
He travels through all sorts of perils, as the protagonist does in any movie like this, influenced by things far better like The Neverending Story. You have the classic swamp scene, robots in a mostly fantasy setting for some reason, and an hour and a half of ham-fisted bible lessons.
Robot Holocaust
Oh boy. Another gem. Robot Holocaust was released in 1987, directed by Tim Kincaid. This movie has had the privilege of being featured in Mystery Science Theater, placing it squarely in “so bad it’s good” territory.
The Dark Ones are an evil group that use slave labor to power their base. A man and his robot side-kick are tasked with finding a woman’s scientist father in order to defeat the dark ones and liberate the slaves. The acting feels completely rote like everyone is doing a really bad cold reading at an audition. The clothing looks like cheap Halloween costumes, and the props look like a free library craft class for 6-year-olds made them.
Cyber-C.H.I.C.
Cyber-C.H.I.C. came out in 1990. Written and directed by Ed Hansen and Jeffrey Mandel, Cyber-C.H.I.C. tells the story of a cybernetic woman hell-bent on breaking up a drug trafficking ring. The twist? She’s built like a Playboy Playmate to appease the obviously male demographic. The villain role is kind of confusing? On the one hand, there’s an annoyed employee who’s built nuclear bombs, hidden them, and rigged them to explode.
The bomber is kidnapped by a pimp and a motorcycle gang for some reason? Of course, through a couple of scenes filled with gratuitous nudity, we see that Cyber-C.H.I.C. is on the case. This entry has done well to note that this movie seems to have been written by a couple of 8th-grade boys, so we’re done here.
The Aztec Mummy Against The Humanoid Robot
The war fought between mummies and robots. A tale as old as time, or at least 1958. Let’s just gloss over the fact that Aztecs didn’t practice mummification (very often) and that most of them put on display during the 19th century were mostly due to natural desiccation. It did happen occasionally, but go with maybe the obvious choice of Egypt?
Anyway, the mummy is obviously in the right here. He’s just protecting his treasure from a robot made by a mad scientist. Also apparently mummies are afraid of crosses, as evidenced by his retreat at one.
Santa Clause Conquers The Martians
What a beautiful way to round out this list. Santa clause is kidnapped by Martians because of course he is. Is there anyone on Mars to deliver the good little alien children presents? Nope.
It must be said that this premise is absolutely dynamite. What a time 1967 was.
